I was able to take a bunch of photos of my grandma’s house while I there for her funeral. I’m so glad because all her things are being sold off and her house will no longer be My Grandma’s House. At least this way I will be able to remember it as it was, even down to the details.
How is it that will all the spam control crap I have loaded into my blog I still have to delete 30-40 spam comments every time I check my blog?
Last time I saw my grandma was over Christmas. She kept saying that this would be her last holiday before she died. We all told her she was being silly. At 92, she was in better health than some people half her age. Turns out she was right.
One week ago my grandma was alive and well. She had some chest congestion that she was going to go to the doctor for on Monday. She was still living in the house she raised her kids in, still driving herself around. One week ago I went to work, hung out with friends, and was starting to consider the idea of visiting my grandma in Cleveland sometime over the summer. Fast forward one week and all of a sudden I’m flying to Cleveland to go to her funeral. It happened that fast.
Monday she was admitted to the hospital. Tuesday my dad got to Cleveland to spend the night with her. Wednesday morning she was gone. Friday I’m flying to Cleveland. Saturday we bury her. Monday I fly back home to resume my regular work schedule exactly one week after it all started.
I am fully aware that she lived a long, full life and that we should all be lucky enough to live as long as she did in as good condition as she did. I know it was her time and she went relatively swiftly with her sons by her side. I am also aware that she was probably ready to go. Better now than before her quality of life faded. All in all, not a bad way to go.
The part of me that is the most sad is the selfish part of me. Her house and belongings will be sold and all I’ll have left are my fond childhood memories of visiting her in her house that was like stepping back in time to the 40’s or 50’s. She always baked muffins for me when I came to visit and made cream of wheat for me every morning for breakfast while I was there. She always asserted her opinion that sounded like a quote from a 1950’s women’s magazine. She was so proper, such a lady. She’s gone and all I can think about is how it will affect my life, my memories.
I’ve gotten mixed reactions from friends and co-workers about all this. They have ranged from being deeply sorry for my loss all the way to “that’s life, learn to accpet it”. I know this is life but it’s still a loss I have to deal with. Time will heal all wounds. Right now it’s so fresh.
My grandma died yesterday. She was 93 years old and was a strong, loving lady right up until the end. I know she lived a long, full life but I can’t help but feel loss.